I Felt Hurt But Now I Feel Heard, On Apologizing and Forgiveness

In this episode of heartbeat, Dr. Brooke Stuart dives into a discussion on apologizing and forgiveness- “I felt hurt but now I feel heard.” The people and experiences that belong will flourish with us in a way where we are no longer walking on a tight rope. As we begin to let ourselves be ourselves and to open up and grow- we have this unique ability to allow others release the pain as well.

  • Putting The Relationship First: When we place the relationship first, we desire to keep the air revitalized and clear. In this, taking ownership with a meaningful apology or making the choice to learn from each experience and forgive becomes a natural part of the process.
  • A Good Apology: A good apology puts the relationship first by taking ownership and seeking to clear the air. We can learn how to put our ego aside and choose what matters most- peace, love, harmony, life!
  • With Trust: Trust can be built over time by choosing to take ownership and accountability as we learn and grow, understanding that we can hurt others and we can also cultivate the capacity to visit and hold space to listen and hear. In this, our apologies can not only transcend a simple reconciliation, but actually deepen the relationship in it of itself. This requires the dropping of defenses to open up and be with each other as hurt turns into a feeling heard.
  • An Alternative Way To Forgive: Instead of seeking to forgive, seek to learn, grow, acknowledge, embrace, express and release. Here, we can meet ourselves and others where we are and they are. We don’t need to hold forgiveness over anyone. Instead, we can choose to see each experience as happening for us, in the midst of it also having happened to us. In this, we can decide practicalities from an increasingly healed place that we don’t need to rush into. We are safe. We are kind and we don’t need pseudo power, superiority or control to access our true nature and the willingness to open up, receive the lessons and release the pain.
  • I Felt Hurt But Now I Feel Heard: This is the power of being available and choosing to listen with presence to the parts of you that are speaking. This is also the gift you can give to others and the one that feels like a miracle to receive. Within the silence, untethered from time and space, you can take up the space you require and the time you need to say what you need to say and feel what you need to feel.

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More Resources

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